love is not what you think, only what you do

February 7, 2011


not too long ago, not long at all
I used to live in a house
sun shining through the windows
the gentle summer breeze
making my white translucent curtains dance
in a butterfly like motion.
from my always open door
I could see curvy hills
covered in green grass
there was a tree, an old solid tree
a tree of wisdom and peace
music was always on
and the smell of hot chocolate in the morning

i went out the house
looking for love
and i got lost
ended up on the top
of a giant rocky mountain
where there’s a constant storm
alone, all in silence
it’s like the mountain despise me
what have i done to the mountain?

i don’t know, just being here i guess
freezing cold
i can’t feel my hands, my feet
i can’t see one meter in front of me
my face is also frozen
if i try to smile it’ll break
there’s no rescue coming
there’s no one around
and it’s dark, pitch black night
and this silence

it’s very tempting to just lay down here
i’m tired
they say that intense cold will put you asleep
and you’ll never wake up
the sweet death they call it

but i’m going down
it’s the only way out, down
how ironic
and i know i will fall
i know i’ll get even more lost on my way
i’ll probably break some bones
and perhaps loose a toe or two
it’s also a long way
i have no idea how long it will take
i just have to manage to put
one foot in front of the other
and walk
make my own way

and when i find my house again
i will clean it up
make things in order
i will play music very loud
louder than my thoughts
and i’ll let the door open
so i can see those curvy hills
i’ll let the windows open too
so my curtains can dance
their butterfly like motion
i’ll make hot chocolate in the morning
and sit by the old tree of wisdom
to read, to write, to sing
to feel

there’s no harness in my heart
no one to blame
not even myself
sometimes one just gets lost
as simple as that
and i’d rather feel lost
that not feel anything at all

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